Do I know where my best interests lie?
From a very young age we learn what this ‘life’ is about – ‘life-knowledge’. Although this has many elements, ultimately it is what we should do in order to be happy, secure and peaceful. Yet no one is completely happy, secure or peaceful. Therefore all the ‘life knowledge’ we have taken on, cannot lead us complete security and invulnerability. Which we all want.
Because we have accepted this ‘life knowledge’, and I think this ‘life knowledge’ is all we essentially are, we believe in ourselves/it to bring complete security. But when we look around, and I ask myself has this ‘life knowledge’ brought home what it says it will, the answer is no.
Yet this ‘no’ cannot is not such a resounding one, because I still believe in my own abilities. I still feel I have a hand in making peace.
So where does this leave me. Somewhere in between two worlds. One where I believe in my ability, and another don’t believe in it. (Wrote something about this in next blog post)
No actually its not two worlds, I must mean believe in myself. Otherwise I would have let go of my own power.
So what do I believe in?
I believe that some situations, and relationships will bring greater satisfaction, and other will bring less satisfaction or discomfort. Therefore I must trust my ability to first discriminate these situations from each other.
Yet we don’t treat it was a discrimination or choice. When I think about/am faced with something I am actually scared of, I see it as danger. I cannot make myself see it as not danger. So therefore seeing it as danger, the natural step is to avoid it. I cannot see it as danger and then expect myself to not avoid it.
So this choice of some situations, over other situations makes perfect sense in the light of seeing danger.
This loops because I now see that this one process of recognising dangers and choosing particular situations doesn’t bring me peace. So I would have to question my own very seeing. Which I cannot do! Knowledge cannot unwrap knowledge. Though my brain does this, it trips back into this. So I’m left at the beginning of this article again.